Somebody's New Here

A little boy or girl is coming this next April Lord willing!

Week 13 is when my bump really popped out. 

So excited to see if God's given us a little boy or girl! We'll probably be finding out at the 20 week ultrasound.

This Week: 15

Weight gain: 10lb (most of that weight I gained in the first 10 weeks!)

Feeling: Pretty good, most of the nausea has left and my energy is back!

Belly button in or out: Still in

Stretch marks: No

Missing anything: Coffee, I miss drinking coffee and decaf just isn't the same.

Movement: None yet.

Looking forward to: Finding out the gender and feeling him/her kick

Thankful for this week:  My husband making dinner for me tonight. My sister who has helped clean the house for me this week. Encouraging fellowship with God's people.

Cravings: Fresh salsa with chips and Organic Hatch Chile Chips, and Chipotle (mainly because it is the perfect size burrito for my bottomless stomach, it's spicy, and it's got lots of protein).

Maternity clothes: I bought my first maternity shirt yesterday since most of my shirts are starting to ride up in the front. Stretchy maxi skirts are working pretty well with my growing stomach and they are comfy so until it is in the 40's consistently I think I will be fine without maternity pants!

Bearing a Burden or Increasing It?

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 I'm so glad for this simple little verse. It reminds me of the great depth of love and self sacrifice that is possible between Christ's followers. It makes me think of the love that has filled our hearts for the brethren ever since His love has been shed abroad in our hearts. It is a beautiful thing. 

At the same time though I know the very act of bearing other's burdens is rocky ground and we can very easily add to their burden instead of ease it.

Let me not be a milepost

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Chico the Chihuahua

Because my husband knows how to give the best birthday gifts!

Freed to live without

I've been wanting to write this blog post for a long time now. It is has been on my mind and my husband's mind almost constantly for the past few months. We're blaming India for it...India is being blamed for a lot of things lately and they're all good!

Not long after our we returned home from India I found myself thinking much about things. I remember walking into the Newark Airport fresh from the other side of the world and suddenly feeling like I was looking at American culture with new eyes.

Our weak spots were glaring. I saw our materialism, I saw our self-sufficiency, I saw our arrogance and it broke me. 

It broke me not only because I saw it in others but I saw it in myself. I saw how I thought more about investing in making my house look pretty than how I could be investing in bringing the Gospel to lost souls around me. I thought about how many times I sat scrolling through Pinterest during many mornings when I could've been studying to get a degree that would open up a door for me to bless others.

One day I was reading and came across these verses:

"For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. If we have food and clothing with these we shall be content." -1 Tim. 6:7-8

Could I really be content with only food and clothing if that was my lot? Could I really be content having no earthly possessions except what I wore on my back? The truth is we have become so deluded and worldly that we think we are entitled to a comfortable lifestyle.

"If it takes more than food and clothing and a relationship with God something about our relationship with God is lacking." Al Jackson

In order to live a life that we deem live-able we must have certain things. With some it is a job, with others it is a house and with others it is a savings account, but the reality is we are to be content with just food and clothing! You might as well call that nothing! I honestly am ashamed to say that this causes my own heart alarm sometimes.

Is this world of so much value to us that we cannot let it go and be solely absolved in the beauty and all-sufficiency of our Savior? Could we live in a "garbage city"in Cairo and yet feel and know that we are truly rich because we have Christ?
Can we identify with the Savior who had no place to lay His head? Can we identify with the thousands of believers who are each day hiding and running for their lives, without home and family?

What I'm not saying is that we must  subject ourselves to poverty or that we need to look for opportunities to humble ourselves before God (because this is pleasing to Him). Not at all! There is nothing we can do to gain favor with God as far as justification is concerned and every effort even as a believer falls into the deep chasm that separates the Creator from the created.
What I am saying is that we must be ready and willing to be content if God takes everything away from us. I want to be the kind of believer that can live out my Christian life even if I don't have a couch, a bed, or a home. I want to be the kind of person who can cheerfully go through life with nothing but my Savior to boast of.

"For you showed sympathy to the prisoners and accepted joyfully the seizure of your property, knowing that you have for yourselves a better possession and a lasting one." 

I want to be the believer who doesn't stand up and shout and fight for my right to home, liberty and "this-worldly happiness". All these things are destined to perish with the using and whether I have them or not is of little issue in comparison with the real issue. That is: do I have the everlasting and eternal treasure which is Christ Jesus? If we have Christ we are blessed indescribably.
We need to reprogram our thinking to stop prioritizing the material and instead prioritize the spiritual.

You see, when we start thinking like this then we are truly free. We are freed from the love of money, freed from the thorns and cares of this world that choke out spiritual growth, freed from the constant pressure to "get up in the world", freed from the pressure of pleasing men, freed from the idea that success is what hard work deserves.

No longer burdened, choked or stifled we can fully rejoice and fully live in the endless riches that are in Christ alone.

"they left everything and followed Him."

Let love of the brethren continue...

 I've been thinking a lot lately about the issue of brotherly love. It has been quite convicting to think of how we are sometimes so inept when it comes to the greatest of Christian graces.

Christ saved us in such an awesome display of love and humility. It amazes me to think about the depth of His love toward such miserable sinners as we were. We were hate-filled liars at best and Christ came and rescued us with such indescribable, overflowing amounts of kindness, grace and love! Praise our wonderful Savior!

I've been continually asking myself something lately and it has been humbling.

What would it look like if we laid aside all our pride and truly loved? What if we loved like Christ?

"...have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although he existed in the form of God did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself..."

"Learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart."

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone that loves is born of God and knows God."

"...and if I do not have love it profits me nothing"

Love toward God and toward man is the fruit of a life changed and the summary of the law. It is, simply put, the Christian attitude and outlook.

It is sad to see Christian men and women bite and devour one another not only in their words, but in their actions and thoughts. I think we are all guilty here. There are several times where I have caught myself grumbling inwardly about "so and so" who always is so (fill in the blank).

At the same time though I can't help but ask myself, "Why, is this happening so often among Christians?" We will spend an eternity together with these brethren. We can disagree now but bitterness, unkind thoughts and motives have no place in the heart of a believer.

The reality is that the American culture promotes and encourages self-love and places a high value on our individual "rights". Christianity, on the other hand, is quite opposite to this and says: "We have no rights but death and hell!" and "We love others more than ourselves!"

One of the best books I have ever read on this topic is Charity and It's Fruits by Jonathan Edwards. It's one of my favorite books and will really challenge your love to the lost and your brothers and sisters in Christ. Each chapter takes a few verses from 1 Corinthians. 13.

Spurgeon also put it well:

I wish, brothers and sisters, that we could all imitate "the pearl oyster"—A hurtful particle intrudes itself into its shell, and this vexes and grieves it. It cannot reject the evil, but what does it do but "cover" it with a precious substance extracted out of its own life, by which it turns the intruder into a pearl! Oh, that we could do so with the provocations we receive from our fellow Christians, so that pearls of patience, gentleness, and forgiveness might be bred within us by that which otherwise would have harmed us.

—Charles Spurgeon

What a heaven on earth we could have if we just cultivated Christ's love and let it flow through us more readily toward all men! Praying that our love would abound still more and more.

I will not go out free

I would not halve my service,
His only it must be!

His only, who so loved me,

  And gave Himself for me.

Rejoicing and adoring,

  Henceforth my song shall be,

I love, I love my Master,

  I will not go out free.

-Frances Havergal

What Happens After a Year of Marriage

So we've been married for a year and 1 month and we now know what a great marriage looks like...we wish!

Our marriage has been wonderful to say the least. God has certainly blessed us both in it and I know I got something far better than I deserve. With that said though, it has been extremely difficult at times.

There were the sleepless nights, the times when we could not even bring up a subject without tears, times when we felt like there was a chasm between us.  Only a couple months after being married we realized very deeply that if this marriage were to be successful at all it is purely by God's grace. Sure, we could be married for the rest of our lives by our sheer will-power to not divorce but in order to make it loving, self sacrificing and a reflection of Christ's love to His church....that would take God to work!


We were different. Different in so many ways. Yet the one thing we always could agree on was our love for each other. God had brought us together and wanted to put us together for His glory. We knew that and if all we could do was pray together for God's uniting love to unite our hearts that's what we did.

And He heard. God has united our hearts in such an amazing way during the past 7 months or so. I'm continually in awe!

We can't wait to see what God will do in the next year!

Some brief things I've learned in one year:


Pour your heart out to him

Show him you trust him with your thought and struggles. Tell him how your spiritual walk is going, what God has been teaching you lately and what you feel like you need to learn. Let him know your weaknesses and that you want him to help you learn how to be more Christ-like in those areas. When you do this not only do you strengthen the bond and intimacy between the two of you you also open up the door for him to share with you in the same way.

Be as understanding as possible  

Listen to what he says and try to understand him, respect his thoughts and don't tear him down just because you can't understand why he thinks what he thinks. God doesn't command women to think everything exactly like their husbands or to follow blindly. That is not only unrealistic but ungodly. Your husband will appreciate that you are trying your best to understand him. It conveys love and sincerity.

Love him in your body language

Kiss him, kiss him and kiss him again! Let him know how much you adore him by your looks, your smile across the room, your excitement when he comes home from work, and your body language when you are out in public. Make him feel that you are super proud to be his wife all of the time...because, well.. you are!

One year has been a whirlwind of God's goodness and love. He is so good to us and we are so undeserving of this wonderful journey He has sent us on!

More from Portland

coffee shop near our hotel

look! 

the biggest trees and logs we'd seen in a long time

it's huge!

homeless sleeping in tents

Portland Rescue Mission

Portland!

Matthew had an almost week long business trip up to Portland and I got to come along! 

The Christian and the Beggar

Our city is full of homeless men and women. There are beggars everywhere. It is quite normal to see them on nearly every street intersection, no matter where you are in the city.
Matthew and I have been thinking about them lately. God has been making us uneasy just sitting in our comfort watching them.

Sure, we can give to the poor in other countries but is there anything to be done here in America?

It's easy to think "Well, the poor in America are just looking for an easy 20 to spend on their addictions..." or "They just don't want to work" I realize how true this might be, and am aware of the statistics of the corner beggar.

But one afternoon last week Matthew came home for his lunch break and said to me,

"You know, something struck me this morning while I was driving to work..." 

"Oh yeah? What's that?" I love it when he tells me what's on his mind! It's usually the beginning of a great conversation.

"Christ doesn't command us to give to only the "good" poor, or care for only the "good" widows."

Hmm, yeah, I never really thought of it that way! Do we really get so caught up into "what's wise" that we don't do "what's right"? How often do we use the "what's wise" excuse to actually do nothing? Have we used that as a smokescreen for our own indifference?

While we need to be wise that doesn't take back Christ’s commands or make them only conditional. We are not told to love only our good neighbors or love only the lovable. So why do we only give to the poor when it is convenient and when we know for a fact that they are honest people?

We want to be Christ to all  men, everywhere... unconditionally. 

"If you pour yourselves out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted then your light shall rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday." Isa. 58:10

Photos from our trip

on the plane to India

we were the second row from the back

Valley of Vision

somewhere over scandinavia

dropping down into Mumbai

flying over India somewhere

getting ready to land

our balcony

auto rickshaw